Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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