My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
