I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
