I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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