I think my vagina is haunted
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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