You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
