Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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