Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize