then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
