the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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