a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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