youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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