Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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