thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
