Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Too much gin, very little bucket
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
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walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
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Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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