Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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