someone owes me an orgasm
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
