i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
