college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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