god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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