You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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