Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
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Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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