At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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