garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
