brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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