Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
