Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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