I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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