The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
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