Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
