when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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