evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Even my vagina gasped.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
