question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
