dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
