OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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