whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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