You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
