its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
