I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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