I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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