I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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