cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
