she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
