I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
