Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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