Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
