My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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