U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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