would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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