glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize