I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
