i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
