Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
