I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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