dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
