In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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