D3 body, D1 cock
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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